141 Days

It’s been 141 days since I rejoined Amazon.

In that time, I did a lot. Wrote a lot of code, wrote many more docs, pitched a lot of ideas, and was fortunate enough to have one go through. I was busy, and the languid state of my body corroborates that fact. Yet, it feels as I’ve achieved very little. Perhaps more telling of my own personality than anything, but it stands as my own truth I can’t deny.

The intent of this doc, this series of weekly notes, is a few-fold. For one, it’s to write. I like writing, and while Amazon lends itself well to that, there’s aspects of its written culture I disagree with. Too often do we seem to focus on the audience, harping on particular words and dictions to appease. We rewrite docs to be more “scientific“ if that’s in leadership vogue and avoid particular words like the plague (the word graph, I‘ve learned, is perhaps more taboo than common expletive). That irks me. And while I recognize the practicality of it and am no longer as indignant as I used to be, it still leaves me wanting an outlet for self.

There’s a particular way I write. I like short sentences, I like esoteric words, I like flirting with the grammatically incorrect. I like statements with a bit of bombast, the unsubstantiated to inspire. I write for myself - and I take pride in what I write. And in some sense, the way I write is very Amazonian. I remember religiously reading “The Elements of Style” by William Strunk after having my first doc be ravaged by a slew of comments. Remove what doesn’t add. Revise obsessively. Active voice over passive. I’d repeat those rules to myself chronically as I wrote and re-wrote. And then to others as I began to review their writing.

The second purpose is to be read. Although many writers will often say that the act of writing itself is satisfaction enough, I disagree. There is a lucidity that writing can bring about and its something I rely upon heavily, both personally and professionally. But writers are quite the egotistical bunch. What writer doesn’t want their work to be read? And I aspire to write well. To write something real that stands on its own.

The third, and the most vain of all, is to sell. There’s a vision I have of Amazon. I was lucky enough to be exposed to it 8 years ago. The people around me embodied it: they were incredibly smart, worked hard, and made amazing things happen for our customers. I followed suit. I was inspired to work and I fell in love with my job. Work, in no small part, gave me purpose. At the time, I knew the team I was in was special, but I didn’t realize how special it was until I left.

Things are different now. The company’s changed and I’ve changed. No longer am I an over-confident SDE I, my role’s different now. Some of it, yes, is to “manage risk” and be the cog that keeps the company churning. But the other part of it is to be a mentor and a friend. To pass the torch on and do what was done for me. Show people how fun work can be, how exciting it can be to build products for people and relish that joy together.

So, some part of this will be stories about work. From Percolate, from Stripe, from my startups (DeepDive & Rehabbit), and the random things in between. The other parts (unsurprisingly) will also be about work: lessons I’ve taken to heart, principles to operate by, and ideas to share. And on occasion, a soapbox on whatever happens to be gnawing at me at the time.

It is my hope that in some small way, these writings will be of use to you.
—baepaul